Wednesday, December 30, 2009

things go wrong again T.T

today i think i fucked everything again.. so hard only can get bck my husband trust bt then jz bcz of a fucking stupid fon bill!! mess up everything!! damn it!! now i really duno he is angry or wad?? i tell him the truth who i call and i be honest with him.. i did wad eva he ask me to nt to lie!! and i did.. bt then he gt angry and shut my call.. i really hope he wont bcz of tis hate me again!! T.T 老公我自导我错了!希望你不会神气我!对不起!i really love u!! pls dun angry at me forever.. i really need u!! pls pls pls... i wont call ur fren anymore k? i wont bother ur life already ok?? i promise.. u do wad u like.. u have ur privacy ok?? pls dun leave me..T.T

baby min

Monday, December 28, 2009

happy feeling is back...

last nite i call hubby.. we chat on the fon for quite long.. about an hour plus.. its a long time ago since the last time i talk on the fon with him for hours.. and we had a very happy conversation.. we talk about many things..there were laughther between it and aso honesty.. we told each other wad we did and so on.. finally he trust me and willing to give me a chance.. he finally change his image on me.. im very happy about it.. hopefully everything will go well after tis.. hope tat the second of us getting bck together is closer.. i really need him by my side!! i love him so much.. finally now i can tell him everything from guys to admires.. i really feel so cool down now.. at least smtg is working here.. happy happy happy!!

baby min

Thursday, December 17, 2009

misssssss uuuuu soooo muchhh..

i cant sleep at all ur keep wondering in my mind..
i really miss u alotx...
love u always my husband guo en!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

im soo damn confusing now..

sumtimes i feel like a stupid girl tat already knew u dwan me bt i still stupid d love u and wait for u!! tis is bcz i really love u!! bt do u noe i love u so much?????

haiz.. i really duno wad should i do.. i really hope u will come here on new year bt bt bt after tis morning call i felt tat u r nt coming... i feel tat u wan to ffk.. and u dont feel like coming.. ur jz making me happy.. i noe u wont come.. bt i duno i was so excited bout u wan to come!! i jz like living in my own world.. sigh..

hopefully i can get a work here and work till tired and nt simply thinking of those negative while waiting for u bck to my side.. i really need u by my side bt everytime i call u u like dun like i call u and wanted to hang off the fon as soon as possible.. and u dun even ask hw am i here.. i really duno y i still so love u.. maybe tis is wad ppl say tat love r blind.. i hope tat u will realise hw much i love u and accept me bck.. hope to spend new year and chinese new year wif u..
love u always!!! i will always wait for u no matter wad!!

baby min

Sunday, December 13, 2009

i miss u soooo much bt i can do ntg accept wait..

its already been days i din sms u.. bt u din even gv a call or a msg.. u gt ur time to msg other ppl bt nt me.. tis mean u really give up or wad?? i really confuse.. sumtimes i really feel like a fool.. bt i trust my self if i change im sure one day u will accept me bck.. maybe wad u need is time.. well here i gv u time.. bt pls dun take so long.. cz i really need u now.. hopefully u wont think i gv up u d.. cz i din find u.. i din find u is bcz i dwan u to think im annoying.. i dwan u to hate me.. tats y i wait for u to find me..all i noe now is.. i love u , i miss u , i need u and i will wait for u.. so dun gv up on me.. love u always...

ur wife vanessa

Thursday, December 10, 2009

im so down.. i didnt noe wad to do..

i really duno weather izit possible for us to be together bck??
i really love u...
i dwan to lose u!!
i need u..
me and baby aso need u!!
pls dun leave us..
pls dun hate me..
i noe i did wrong in the past and i noe u gv me alot of chances to change..
bt i din..
tis time i really noe im wrong..
i already wake from my mistake..
i hope everything is nt too late..
i really need u!!
pls dont leave me..

i love u kok earn!!

baby min

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

2nd day without u...

early morning woke up bcz i dream bout hubby..
it was a bad dream..
i dream he had a gf already...
so stupid..

den cont sleep till 1 smtg..
wake up bath den eaat lunch..
den go watch tv and fb..
until 6pm ate dinner den fb again..
den at 8smtg called hubby let him talk to baby bt it was a short call cz he is getting ready to work..
den cont fb and watch tv until now..

last nite hubby call i was sooo surprise haha!!
we had a short conversation i was happy tat he called..
bt he say a thing that im nt his wife d so my prob not his prob..
in my mind thinking is he jk or serious??
so complicated lo!!
bt no matter wad i will wait him and change my attitud and be his dream wife!!
love guo en 4 ever!!
muackx muackx...

baby min

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

first day without u..

tis morning while i was in the flight to lab my mind keep thinking of u..
i was wondering will u find another gf??
will we hav another chance being together??
is tis the end of our marriage??
i really hav no chance d??

i really very wry..
u always say separate for a moment so tat i can change my attitud..
bt tat day u told me u dwan together bck。。
i really very confusing now..
i duno wad i should do..
bt anyway i will wait for u and i will try my best to be ur dream wife!!
hope u wont give up me..
i love u always..
my dearly husband guo en..

today reach labuan at 11 plus..
reach home bout 11.30am..
stay at home playing fb whole day until 7pm went out for dinner..
had pizza at financial park(the one and only shopping center in labuan)..
saw my ex classmate..
was thinking to get sum daily stuff..
it was at 8.40pm and imagine all the shop were close!!
omg!! so siao men!! 8.40pm all shop close!!
if ktn sumtimes 10 smtg u still can see some shope still open le!!
den bck home..
now sitting in front of the comp missing my husband and playing fb..

baby min

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

for my husband..


Monday, November 30, 2009

im totally break into pieces..

last nite i accidenlty heard my husband talking on the fon with a girl.. and he say he really love his kl gf.. bt in reality he told me diff things.. bt i believe him.. the worse is he say out that 'he dun love me at all he with me is bcz of sex' i was so sad.. my heart all break into pieces.. i din noe wad to do!! i was too sad... and after i done cry and so on i notice while i was sad i cut my wrist with a knife.. am i stupid?? i really duno y!! first is june and now my husband...its like 1 by 1 come and hurt me.. am i so stupid?? do i look like a slut?? i admit i do gt betray both of them b4.. bt u guys aso cant treat me as a sex toy.. and my husband ive been with him for 2 years he never love me b4?? i dun believe lo.. i really duno wad should i do now.. i really felt like a toy being throw to one after another.. i really sick of my life!! all tis long i never had a real love b4.. i was so serious in both of tis relationship in the end all i gt is hurt!! i really very stupid.. last nite after i listen all my husband say i was so sad.. bt i duno y im nt angry at him bt i blame my self back.. i really duno y.. should say im stupid or i love him to deep?? i really duno..

now on 7th dec i will be leaving my husband hopefully after leaving him for sumtimes i hope he can slowly accept me and love me and hav a happy family with me.. i did many wrong thing while with him bt he always give me chance.. i hope tis time i give him chance and it wont be late... i really doesnt wan everything to end here.. i wan a real love and a happy family!! i dun believe wad my husband said last nite!! all is jz a lie!! i trust wad i c!! and i will cont loving my husband no mater wad.. i will always wait for him!! i really do love him!! i hope he noe it and willing to accept me bck and hav a happy family with me..

now i really need to put all tis love prob a side.. cz i noe i cant do anything now.. cz everything need time and time is the best to show our love and answer hopefully wad im doin now can save my marriage... and now i really need to pay attn and fnh my exam den leave husband for sumtimes and den go for my plkn and come bck be my husband lovely wife!!

may god bless me..
in lord father name i pray..

baby min

Saturday, November 14, 2009

mood swing easily...

these days ive been a bit down. cz i wry that i hav to pass my bufdae on my own.. i dun expect anything such as present or wad.. cz all i wan is hubby accompany me.. bt it seems tat its impossible.. now i really duno hw my bufdae is gonna be.. i guess tis will be the most sad and lonely bufdae in my whole life.. haiz.. well i cant do anything bt jz face it.. hopefully smtg will surprise me on that day.. well not too much hope on it.... jz now i was asking hubby to invite his whole family out for dinner and i treat.. and he answer me.. pls dun be so thick face.. my whole family hates u!! is u dun know keep on make prob.. every1 never forgive u.. even me.. my tears was all coming out bt i keep it i dun let it out in front of him.. i really duno its true ant.. he treat me gd and his family aso.. bt haiz i duno.. i really duno!! SPM coming.. divorcing is aso nearer i duno!! my life is so doom now!! its like everything is gonna end.. sumtimes i really rather die.. bt i noe i should face it.. bt its nt that easy.. really confuse!!!

well recently my hubby juz noe a new girls.. so my wryness have bck.. same thing!! nt i dun trust him is i dun trust those girl.. duno la!!! fan ar!!! haiz..

baby min

Friday, November 13, 2009


jz now was playing fb.. so saw june prof.. so i gone through his photo.. i seldom read his photo comment.. bt duno y today will read.. so i found out that once he told me he had stiches on his ear i dun believe him.. so jz now one of his photo his fren drop a comment tat he had an accident.. t goes like tat..

Almost 700kgs of 3 large eskies filled with alcohol and drinks almost fell on him(june) while taking them off the tailgate on the back of the truck... one esky slide off it's trolley and swiped him on the side of his face and he became unconscious and bleeding from the ear which at the time we thought was internal bleeding... I was an emotional wreck but kept it together for work and the glasses helped too...the outcome was the a ear piercing on the inner-side of his ear somehow got caught by the trolly and ripped that part of his ear off and left his ear half detached off his face....40 stitches later, meds and rest! he is back at work!! not 100% pain free but he is a trouper!

i was shock whn i saw the comment i tot wad he told me was fake.. i tot he say that is jz to avoid me.. i never tot its true.. well until now he change alot bt he is still the same o careless june xyi.. hahaz.. well i cant do ntg much.. all i can do is wish him and his gf all thes best and take care.. hopefully everytime he working in the kitchen or where he wont be so careless hurting him self again.. all the best to june..

baby min..


omg!! i was so in to tis movie.. it shows for 2hour and 40 minutes.. so damn long.. was planing to cath it with chryl they sun bian celebrate birthday... bt bt bt haiz.. sadly im not allowed to go.. so no mood lo!! bt nvm la.. yan!! its for my own good... bt bt i dwan spend my bufdae alone.. hubby was not planning celebrating with me.. so haiz.. i dwan spend my sweet seventeen alone!!! very cham lo.. sound like the song zhu wo zi ji sen re kuai le..dwan!!!!!dwan mcm ini la!! sienz la!!!ish...!!! geram ar!!heng ar!! dulan ar!!!

baby min...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

lame o jamuan...

well.. another 6 days till SPM and my bufdae!! sound excited sound scary also.. hahazz!!! well.. now back to main point.. yesterday i went to skol for jamuan.. was expecting fun.. bt ended up lame.. no fun, no delicious food,no games its like so bored and hungry even after eating some food in.. bt manage to get mcd so still ok la!! hahaz.. well yesterday i was soo suprise that june sis yoki she willing to gamble with me.. haha.. so ok la she willing.. den i be banker lo.. firstly bcz tat is my cards.. hahaz.. firstly i ask cheryl all to gamble aso bt they say dwan.. bt in the end ended up bout 7 ppl came in to gamble.. haha!! imagine.. SPM was like 6 days aways.. bt were gambling here!! geng!! haha.. so doreen,fong yee,mee bing,cheryl,su chin,jun wei,yoki,pei kee,hui ling all gamble.. i was wining in the beginning bt bcz of me being so 'lan dou' so keep on gamble till lose rm20 bucks.. so kek sei me!! hahaz!! bt nvm la.. thong i give ang pao money.. haha!! whn end every1 say thank u aunty!!0.o i was like wow!! since whn i bcum aunty la?? aiyokx.. haha!! well on tat day i did take some photos wif fren.. bt all were with them cz i had no camera and phone are nt allowed.. so tak apa la.. haha.. and in the morning i was bz filling those biodata haha.. so long din do those things d.. i still remember i had a book of biodata.. inside wad all my tok sera fren bio.. and one of it was june bio.. i look back to the bio book.. and remind me of all the memories in tok sera.. kinda miss the moment.. haha.. well im gonna end my high skol soon.. hopefully everything will go smooth whn i graduate from my secondary.. and start building my career..

i had a meet up with wei xiang one of my ex schoolmates.. he was june bff.. he had some prob in his family so he now have to be a real man!! hahaz.. well i can c he is now so stress and tired.. he really change alot.. last time he was so cute and handsome with those freaking long hair haha!! bt now he turn to be a normal guy that hav a lot a prob to solve and a family to take care.. he is a really strong guy man... haha.. well im here wish him all the best in his career and life.. hopefully he will be filthy rich!! and can get his dream car ,house and so on... while yc with him.. we talk bout some of the past.. so he is june bff of cz we will talked bout him.. ive ask him to help me to ask june weather i can b back frenx with june whn he bck to malaysia.. i dont know y i do hate him bt i wanted to stay contact with him.. tis dont mean i still love him.. is jz we use to hang out togather b4 we couple and he always accompany me.. i really hope to have a fren like him.. and not loosing a fren like him.. bt now d june i dun expect the same thing from him.. cz he has change alotz!! he bcame a handsome man!! hahaha.. so hopefully whn he is bck i will have a chance to meet up with him with the help of wei xiang.. haha!! so wei xiang... pls help me i tis matter.. thankx.. haha!!

at nite i was reading jangan bunuh rama rama.. cz it was like jux 6 days to SPM so i jz read up some things tat will help me.. the nite b4 i read sabor and virus zel untuk abah till 3 am!! omg i never study till so late except ply till so late!! haha!!
i notice tat if wan study i sure can.. and i manage to remember to story until today!! nt bad huh.. haha..well to9 will cont my study.. and tmr hav to go skol to shift those table for my SPM and were having a titisan ilmu.. thats where we hav to shake hands with those teacher!! i dwan to shake with lai liu ha and shortie!!! haiz...
tmr surely will be a bad days!!

baby min

Sunday, November 8, 2009


.i duno why these days im so sensitive.. i keep on think tat my hubby outside will hav gf.. i noe he wont have wan.. bt he really gt loads of girl tat like him..tats y im so wry.. nt that i dun trust or dun hav faith on him is jz i dun trust those girl.. cz girl u noe la.. i really duno wan hw!!! i really scare ar!! i dwan loose wat i hav now.. i wan gv my baby happy family.. i wan his forgiveness.. i wan him bck.. i wan everything bck to normal... haiz.. i hope after all the changes in me.. he will forgive me and love me as hw he use too... may god bless me!!

baby min

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

decision has been made.. must it be like tis?? haiz..

well today discuss with hubby.. end up i hav to leave everything and go to labuan with my baby on jan.. hopefully wad im gonna do its worth it.. really hope tat tis is nt the ending.. hmm.. i force my self to face it.. and finnaly i did.. hope by forcing my self to change it will come out a good result in the end.. well days and days life go on.. hoping everything will be better then now.. another 14 days will be my bufdae.. hope tat i dun hav to pass my seventeen bufdae at home alone and singing zhu wo sen re kuai le alone.. haiz..

Sunday, October 25, 2009


its been a long i din update my blog d..
well my life now a days i duno weather i should say its getting better or wad..
maybe both aso gt a..
now a days i always think bout the sweet moment i use to have..
i really wish that everything can change back to its own condition..
i really hope to get his forgiveness..
last time i were childish..
bt now im nt anymore..
so i hope tat u would realise ..
stop having last time d me in ur mind and refresh everything..
i really have change!!
pls pls pls..
pls trust me and give me another chance!!

baby min

Saturday, September 26, 2009


everyday stuck at home..
some fun aso dun have..
who free come and pui me.. haha..

Monday, September 21, 2009

updating time..

well last sat open a party for baby mieko to celebrate her bufdae.. she gt many present thanks to my friends.. everything goes quite well..

bout 11 went to jr1 for yc..
den go eat lok lok..

den go tc for a round..

den go home bout 12 smtg..

on sun went to ecm with mom and baby..
bought a new perfume..
love it.. bt now broke d.. cz bo lui.. hehe..

wake up bath mieko..
bath my self..
clean room..
update fb and fs and blog while waiting 4 mom call...

ntg really interesting happen..

looking forward for the continuous day..
hoping smtg fun will be waiting for muah..

b@by m1n

Thursday, September 17, 2009


today last day of skol!!
so happy..

mom is back...

baby birthday soon...
she noe hw to walk..

trial end d!!
SPM is around the corner..

bufdae coming!! preset?? hehez..
bt nt celebrating..

mooncake festival wan reach d..
excited bout it..
bt mostly spend at home.. so suck aso..
thats all..

Saturday, August 8, 2009

th3 s0n oF th3 b1t**h 1s b@ck

tis is a very 38 ppl who loves to report to hubby wad eva i write in my blog and facebook!! it seems tat u have no brain and tat y ur doin smtg a 38 ppl doin.. if im u i would have nt tell my hubby.. cz i gt brain wan.. did u noe tat after u telling him.. many things can happen?? and me n my hubby d relationship can get worse?? u should noe wad person of my hubby is.. so pls.. i hope u understand stop ur fucking atitud and stop reporting things to my hubby.. nt i scat or wad.. is jz ur making everything worse and more prob i have.. my exam is near i really hope i can pay fully attention and a supportive hubby and not a hubby tat always at there fat lan za and keep on say wad i write and tis and dat making me more fan!! do u noe wad is blog?? blog is a place to release ur prob and ur feelings... and not to let ppl c den let ppl simply go n tell ppl family and giving the person more prob.. if u wan give opinion i dun mind bt if problem then u f*** off ba!! i dun need ur stupid mouth and eye here!!i already had enuf prob.. if ur really free go find smtg to do dun come disturb my life!! ur nt welcome here!! i noe u will read my blog!! so pls be awake of the stupid things ur doin!! dun make me cant stand one day and u will noe the ending!! u will surely regret for keep on being a fuc**ing reporter!!

Friday, August 7, 2009

sSSsSuuUUuuccCcckKKyYy d@y!!!

today i really very damn bad luck.. after skol miss skol bus.. den my fon bill damn high d digit for the total.. den hubby duno y keep on shout at me.. haiz.. now i only noe.. hubby angry cz fon bill high some more wan tell my mom dulan.. . den nvm my fon bill high he angry 4 wad?? i aso din ask him pay.. den miss skol bus cz the fucking econ teacher.. no car back still nvm.. come back d.. hubby at home.. yesterday say today gt work.. bt he lied.. haiz.. after tat i say him y lie to me?? i pula get scold.. haiz.. whole day get scold.. sienx.. now he fat lan za duno go where.. really fu za ar..i need some rest pls.. damn fucking tired..

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

h@pPy 21 st buFda3 jun3 xY1

ur now fully 21.. ur already a man now.. wish u all the best.. hope everythings in ur life goes as how u wan want.. wish u success in ur career and study.. take care my frenz.. happy 21st bufdae to u..!!

baby min

Monday, August 3, 2009

a special person bufdae is gonna reach..

a person who last time i use to love alot until i can give him my whole life.. his bufdae is reaching.. tis is the 2nd year nt celebrating his bufdae with him.. really miss him.. well i don hate him.. i really hope that we can be back frens.. cz he is a nice bf and aso a nice fren.. bt i noe all tis is impossible.. anyway wish him all the best here.. and now there ar 27 and a half hour more counting down to his bufdae.. hehez..
our happpy memories will always be remember.. hope u do remember to..

baby min


today at last bcz of goin after seven continuously for 3 days.. fall sick d.. hahaz.. thanks god im recovering now... bt today smtg sad happen.. today after fetching mom to bus stop whn out wif frens awhile den back home.. so over tired and felt very ill so i sleep.. i din realise the time so i over sleep.. den i jz take care mieko for awhile den i straight away get ready to ttn.. hw noe.. his mom ask:

hubby mom: where u goin??

me: ttn lo..

hubby mom straight away look at my husband den i surely get scold lo.. i noe she sure mumble at my hubby say i no take care mieko..den hubby start mumble at me..

hubby: wah!! got ppl today whole day no take care baby at upstair act sick sleeping for the whole day bt now can go ttn.. so geng.. duno since whn my wife so rajin go ttn wan.. aso duno realy go ttn ant.. puix..

i straight away keep quiet cz lazy wan quarrel with him.. carry my baby upstair and stay in the room.. im really so fucking sick of these ppl.. they dun even noe wad is help!! so damn selfish.. the sister go yc she willing to take care bt me go ttn say i act.. i really speechless jor.. haiz.. i now really gt bit wry i cant handle evrything.. i really very confuse.. duno wad i should do!! anybody willing to help me?? does i really have to send my baby to labuan and stay with my mom?? haiz.. i duno ar!!! complicated life!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

happyyy lif3ss...

with pei ching at after third nite..

me n li wen at after for the 2nd night..

last nite went to after.. the third time.. omg.. i was nt thinking of goin to after s3ven i was wearing as usual a collar polo t shirt and a short pants with slippers i was so wry i cant get in so didnt really wanted to go.. bt i aso whn there and c wad goin on.. whn reach saw hubby frenz.. he told me hubby is inside and ask me wan go in ant.. firstly i was thinking of leaving bt lucky i went if nt i wont have the chance to c my hubby dancing with other girl.. well whn i c i really do feel jealous.. bt i duno y? i din go crazy.. i jz let him njoy bt i admit i really sad.. well wad eva hubby frens told me its true.. both of us come out clubbing dun so sensitive.. open minded.. enjoy urself and dun be jealous.. cz tis is normal.. well at least he did dance with me for sumtimes.. hehe.. and its my first time goin clubbing with him.. enjoy myself so much!! hahaz.. met michelle and pei ching were in the same table.. and thanks to terrence.. he really take care of me.. and liwen too.. hehez.. bt last nite is the first nite goin clubbing without a special person.. tis is bcz we have stop contact.. maybe tis is smtg good.. well hopefully we will be frens again soon.. miss the person so much.. the moment we use to hang out will always be remember.. well i guess i am childish.. bt since i go after now i noe wad i njoy ur life.. i have change and i love my life now.. hehez.. everything is goin well in my life.. i love hubby forever!! muackz.. even though i always say i tired of hubby wan divorce and so on.. bt i will still try my best to save our marriage..

love hubby!!

Friday, July 31, 2009

cluuubinggzz niteee!!!

me n kok sing

last nite went to after 7 with kok sing and the gang.. kok sing is goin back to aust tis sat.. gonna
miss him.. hahaz.. bt he will be back after two month that will be oct..

last nite hubby went down to genting with his boss.. so left alone at home last nite..

kok sern went to after aso last nite.. im so happy tat he didnt cause me any trouble.. and he aso did enjoy with me.. ahaz.. hope we get together back and not always giving prob to each other..

went to midnight after went to after 7.. meet arman there.. din really see him until he miss call me.. imagine he was jz sitting in front of me.. haha.. i was so blur last nite.. gt bit drunk la..

the most happy things is i take out my braveness and say to sook hui a fren we use to hang out togather bt bcz of sum1 we didnt hang out togather.. i told her..

me: hey actually wad u guys hate bout me??

sook hui: i aso duno actualy..

me: can we be fren back and never hate each other??

sook hui: yes.. y not..

then we shake our hands.. and were frens forever..!!!
i really hope its true.. and we will be frens forever.. and nt enemy forever..

nyway!! to9 after 2nd round and the last round for kok sing.. cz he is leaving tmr.. sad.. wish him have safe journey...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

worried.... bt tired of it..

last sunday i went to jr1 yc with kok sing and the gang.. when every1 saw me they straight away ask :

kok sing: vanessa ur husband outside gt gf ar??

me: i duno o.. fren only la.. ntg geh..

karn ching: vanessa ur husband now a days always go after 7 o.. we left d he still there.. some more bring girl go o.. u noe ma??

me: i noe.. bt wad can i do?? well i trust him.. its ok d lar..

yoko: vanessa ur husband always go after with a girl o.. u noe ma??

me: i noe ar.. bt its ok d la.. his fren ma..

man do u notice smtg bout the conversation?? a word ur husband with a girl was told in the 3 conversation.. well am i thinking to much?? or wad?? or i dun dare to face the reality?? anyway i really trust my husband i noe he wont betray me.. he is a good person i noe it!! i trust him!! so any1 out there if saw my hubby with a girl dun ask me izit his gf or wad?? cz my own self aso duno wad is actually goin on.. i now very confuse.. bt i believe if he mine we will be 2gather forever.. i love my hubby kok earn always.. i hope he noe tis.. haiz..

well jz now i was smsing den he ask me:

hubby: wad u doin??

me: smsing lo..

hubby:sms who o?

me:guy(actually is girl)

hubby: o..

den he suddenly at there fat lan za.. in my mind was ' u sms with girl i aso din say anything la..' i jz say i sms with guy u aso like tis d.. sienz d lo.. still say dun care.. dun care u wont jealous wan lo.. hahaz.. so cute la him.. always say i out with guy or sms with guy he dun care.. tis n tat.. bt whn noe.. hahaz.. JEALOUSY!! lolz.. za dou...

Saturday, July 25, 2009


hmm.. tis few day me n hubby d relationship is getting better.. i learn to trust him.. now everytime he go out with his fren i have stop acting as an annoying person.. such as keep on call him and ask wad time u back and y u haven back and so on.. and i never cared wad time he cum back.. cz i noe he wants freedom and i should give him cz i aso gt my freedom.. maybe being husband and wife trust is very important and giving ur loves ones freedom is also important.. anyway i really hope our relationship can go on better than now.. now a days we take photo togather and do wad a couple do.. i now start to feel the sweetness from him.. and i really hope i can control my jealousy!! i noe im very easy to get jealous.. bt i wont let tis happen to me from now on.. my husband went out with girl so wad?? fren only ma.. every1 in tis world have girl as a fren and aso boy as fren.. i aso hav boys d fren wad.. he aso din care so much so y am i so wry bout him goin out with girl?? if he really wan go i aso cant do anything.. so jz let it be.. get use to it and dun be so jealousy.. some time i really find my self annoying and irritating.. maybe tis is y ppl hate me and doesnt like me.. hope to change my self from now i dwan to be who am i now..!! i wan to be a better person!! hehezz..

well yesterday i saw smtg.. and now im so wry.. am i thinking to much or wad??i really duno.. haiz!! so confuse..!!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

haAattTTtt33eesss 38 pPl!!!

last nite went yc wif t.erina, uncle burney, aimi and nantini.. these are the ppl i meet at melody music house a place where i use to learn my piano.. so miss them.. and we have like so many things to talk about.. bt to bad we only gt one hour d time to chat cz im a mummy and i have to go home early.. so went go out bout 10 and back at 11 pm.. so we chat bout many things la.. den whn reach home.. i duno who the hell so damn 38 go and tell my husband what i write bout my husband in facebook!! i was like argh tis person sure never let ppl whack b4.. i jz express my feeling there so tat my fren can give me opinion on hw to handle it.. but nt for telling my husband wad i write.. i wonder tis person gt brain ant wan?? im really so sick of it!!! if i noe who he or she is im sure he or she will nt end up in a gd condition.. i hate tis kind of person like to 8 ppl things.. ppl husband n wife quarrel ur pasal pula.. some more wan to make things worse.. damn ling ren tao yen wan lo!! haiz.. later hubby come back d aso duno wan hw to face him.. dis few days i will surely suffered!! thanks to the 38 person!! haiz...

Monday, July 6, 2009

missing daysz....

took from aimi.. starring: me , arif, aimi, michelle

well i will start from last last nite.. it was on sat nite arif my best buddy called.. and we talk bout our past it was so.. memorable.. ahahaz.. well we chat alotz of stuff la.. bla bla bla la... then on sunday we went out for yc at tc.. wif michelle and aimi.. and its was so funny.. its jz like.. he jz fetch me for sumtimes and he forgot the way to my house and den after fetching aimi we straight away go tc bt then when go back he forgot the way.. hahaz.. well and arif is actually driving ilegaly bt then he gt his undang la.. sp mean he still noe a bit bout the rule on the then while on the way to tc he was looking at his text he didnt pay attn on the road he went to the other side of the road.. and i was shouting at him...its jz like only one more min accidents will happen cz there was few cars driving towards..omg i was so shocked.. so i scolded him.. and he was like okay okay sorry.. hahaz.. tats is y i will never trust a person who drive ilegaly anymore especially arif!! hahaz.. well yesterday i were so bz downloading mj(michael jackson) song... my hubby scold me say ppl die already u only listen to his song.. hahaz.. well now only i realise that he has alot of nice song.. such as who is it?, you are nt alone, abc, speechless and so on la... i dl bout 100 of his song.. hahaz.. so at nite i spent my time listening to his song.. hahaz.. and i love his song it has so many meaning...i do learn some things from listening his song.. hehez..well tis morning when i wake i have cough and bad flu.. so goin for doctor again later.. for three weeks every mon i went for doctor.. hahaz.. i really got so many sickness la...

Friday, July 3, 2009

my life in skol..

me and doreen
me and doreen

zi lian...
zi lian

me wan to eat cheryl!!

me n cheryl

now days i really have fun in skol with some of my new frenz.. i never tot that i would meet new frenz.. well usually most of d ppl out there will think tat im bad and dirty and useless and so on.. well.. i really feel happy.. well last few days doreen brought her camera to skol so.. bcz of over bored i took her camera and shoot few of my of zi lian photo and some with my frenz.. really have fun.. i still remember i use to hate camera during my pregnancy cz im fat even now still are la.. bt at least i have a bit confident.. well i really hope i can be a leng lui.. and make my hubby feel proud to have a pretty darling by his side and he would nt be ashame to bring me out with his frenz..

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

evrythibg is goin to end soon.. wonder whn??

now a days he change..
he is messaging with a girl call jess..
all i can say now is..
when will all tis end??
u always hurt me and u never understand me..
u say u do understand me! bt i dun think so..

i hate ur selfishness!!
i hate ur childishness!!
i hate ur cruelty!!

ur so fake!!
stop acting!!!
y can we jz start all over again!!
stop all the lies!!!
im so tired of it!!

whn only u will change??

im really sad..
i had enuf of all the bullshit ur crapping in front of me..
i am so tired of all the stupid things ur doin!!
u say u love me!!
u say u still wan me..
bt now u blame me for nt being a person that hw u wanted me to be..
gv me reason y should i change bcz of u??
arent u suposse to love who i am?? and nt changing me??
u always say outside d girl better and so on.. then go ahead..
all u will get is only her..
i will still have my daughter and my dignity!!
it is ashame of ur atitude and u dun even bother to care bout it..
dissapointment im getting from u..
in front of my fren u treat me differently and making it dat im a bad person..
im really sick of it!!
fuck off!!!
even thought i still love u very much bt im really tired of it.. im nt tat strong ok!!
so stop all the cruelty and atitude ur doing it to me!!

nw a days y are boy so faker??
izit so hard to be a gentlemen and a gd guy??

and to a person out there( j...) pls dun disturb my life..
i have enuf bprob now..
i dun hope ur family especially ur sis!!
giving me prob..
ur the one who dump me first so dun blame back to me.. and dun try being a nice person..
i noe wAD kind of person are u!! so stop it!!

i really need a brake from all tis bullshit prob!!!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

upDat3 tim3sSsSsssS..

yesterday we went to ec mall pizza hut to celebrate jia yin birthday and den sfter tat me doreen , wei kei and sook yee went to mega for movie.. we watch drag me to hell.. the movie was so lame.. its nt scary is jz the sound effect very scaring.. and its jz like sudd boom!! the old lady come out..from the begining of the movie until end i never let go of my ear.. hahaz.. cz the sound effect is so sharp and annoying and the show is so disgusting.. after the movie we went too relax for yc bt i jz drop by awhile den go back liao.. mummy d ma.. cant go out till so late hahahaz...yesterday i aso have a big quarrel wif my hubby at last he hit me for the 2nd time.. he angry me for goin out and he say i disturb him dun let him sleep.. i noe u wan sleep bt u aso must let me do my things ma..i aso din open music loudly and disturb u.. i jz sit beside u take care meiko ma.. sumtimes i relly duno wad is he thinking.. guy is so complicated.. their mouth always say yes bt the heart diff... haiz.. today 2nd day liao.. he no choi me.. last nite he pack all my clothes into my lugage back.. i guess tis is a hint for me tat he wan me to leave him.. well now im still in making decision some say stay with him some say dun.. so which one should i listen?? confuse!!!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

my phone!!!

today go skol go and say sry to lai liu ha..ask her can give back hp ant?? bt then she make me dulan again.. bt tis time i jz keep quiet and go bak class.. i really dun get skol wan to keep the fon for so long 4 wad?? keep on week ma enuf la.. keep so long the fon battery sure spoil la.. den spoil d u all pay ar!! and i wan to tell u that im nt RICH at all lo!! pls stop saying that im rich!! so sick of those pilih kasih d teacher.. then jz now bring meiko go c doctor cz her body gt red spot lucky its alrite.. and i saw pn tan at the clinic.. hahaz.. well i really i can get back my fon as soon as possible.. i miss my fon!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

the latest of me..

change my hairstyle.. hehez...


im still learning hw to use tis blog.. if anyone out there noe hw to link frenz pls pls pls teach me.. tq...

haiz miss my phone!!!

today stupid malay pig class teacher who have a big head but no brain rampas my fon!!! and she some more wan to rampas my earrings.. and she duno wad is chance!! oh ya i forget liao she no brain wan ma rite?? ok well den the fon give pn ma.. then another no brain wan again.. really dulan...!!! haiz.. make ppl heng only tis skol!! the pengetua is mb wife so wad? so can buat sesuka hati la?? nt stastified den kick us out off pahang la?? rite ant?? the husband some more rasuah!! so no face man!! some more wan to let the whole world noe he get sue by ppl... and have to pay ppl money!!! dai sei!!! who ask her to be so high nose!!! haiz dun talk bout skol there d ppl all tak perikemanusiaan!! still wan teach us siviks o... u dun have the right to teach cz u aso duno wad is sivik u pig(class teacher)!!! now back to my life.. is a long time there is nt a person who care bout me and love me.. bt these day tis person appear.. i really appreciate it.. bt this person loves to make me angry sumtimes i aso duno should angry ant.. bt i noe that tis wont last i hope it can last forever.. hehehz.. cz tis is wad i need most..

very damn heng!!!!

stupid malay teacher no brain wan !!!! ish!!! i curse u die tmr ar!!! cant teach at our skol d!!! i yan u very damn long liao!!! u always aso wan to go over my limit!! make me so damn angry!! har!!! u think u teacher so very big?? so i must respect u ar?? sry lo!! i never respect a person that dun respect me lo!!! i really very heng lo!!! u ar noe hw to make us dulan only.. plus noe u cant shout still wwan shout ith the stupid sound!!! like pig snoring only!!! very heng ar!!!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

suffering on mid term.....

im goin insane... my life so suck and exam making me faint.. and some love prob aso appear so many prob ar!!!! well tis sun will be the 1st aniverssary (duno correct spelling ant)of me and guo en wedding.. well i noe it will nt have anything special.. so i jz ignore it... cz love does nt appear in my life anymore.. so now quite piss off.. so wan to go to bed and have a sweet dream to cool myself down lolz... i duno wad the hack im crapping.. anyway hope to update my blog more often..

Thursday, April 23, 2009

tir3d of th3 ch1ldin3s$ 0f th0se unm@ttur3d g1rl$

today im so tired ar!!!! first tired bcz helping on the hari keusahawan... have quite alotz fun and i eat alot aso... and now im back to a FAT girl!!! i duno y these days i will non stop eating i will keep on find smtg to chew.. haiz.. and now i bcume fat already!!! piss off!!! haiz.. need to go on diet already no food allowed!!! wakaka.... hope i wont get addicted to all the delicious food i will be facing these days.. cz tmr will be hubby bro marriage.. so will be many nice food to eat!!! mmmmm.... hahaz... cant stop thinking of the food man!!! hahaz... well ok back to things tat happen today there are a few girls at my skol that were so childish and high nose.. she and her fren were discussing bout a mp3 that her fren bought so i ask wad was it? cz i din heard wad they discuss and she go and shout at me say MP3 LA U NO EYE SEE WAN AR!!! T.T well ok i do feel stupid asking that ques bt the mp3 so small look like a radio so i ask jz bcz of my curiousity!! then i ask hw much cz its nt a branded mp3 so it must be cheap then she shout I DUNO LA!!! in my mind was thinking 'jizzz... im nt deaf and wad is the big deal u have a mp3 ppl jz interested so ask bout it y must u be so damn rude!!!' haiz... dissapointment.. well today i finally noe tat im nt a friend to my friend.. they use to hang out in a gang and today they take photo and one of day say all the gang come take photo so they call named one by one and all the chinese went left me 1 chinese sitting there... i feel so being pushed a side.. bt i noe tis will happen so i will try my best to get used to it.. now a days i still will think back weather izit worth it? bcz of a damn ass guy i lost all my fren.. i really feel so regret bout it!!! haiz... i really hope one day they will never trust the guy sister say and believe who am i!! wad kind of person im actually ar!! and who is the victim!! i really tired of it already!! im jz living in my own world everyday!! so wad the big deal?? no fren ma no fren la!!! as long as i gt my baby and hubby im happy already!! being left alone in the school so wad?? study on my own la... walk alone la!!! wont die wan no u all!!! i believe i can find a fren tat is better than u guys... T.T

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

bbBbbzZZzzzZZZz daySssSSSSsss

boring life.. feel so being put a side by frenz maybe bcz of my atitud gua duno lar!! lazy think now all i wan is to study 1 year no study all my ed bcume bad liao... my english always As bcume always Bs sienz... my fren all aso suprise with my result haiz.. and today i at last broke my record!! bm i finally fail!!! haiz....i so worry for my SPM now... really nt in the mood for fun liao... STUDY!!! STUDY!!! STUDY!!!! bt everytime i STUDY sure bcume SLEEPING wakaka...!!!! bt i will try my best to concerntrate cz i must get my target in my SPM!! well for my baby she started to crawl and i have keep my eye on her for 24 7 can die liao.. hahaz... bt i feel happy when she she crawl hahaz... like swimming only... den for my hubby he is treating me better and better d...well i really hope i will complete my mission and i can get his love and care back..happy me!!!well got to go back to my things a days very bz cz many ppl married.. hahaz.. well i will try my best to drop by for cont my blogging...

Monday, March 23, 2009

jz b@ck f0rm kl tr1p!!

first day when to zoo negara and sunway college,lagoon and pyramid..we start our journey from ktn at 4.30 and reach at zoo negara at 9.ooam at there we learn hw to call like MONKEY cz its our fren damn stupid rite?? den it bcume our group motto lol...hahaz... where ever we wan to shout or wad we will call like hw the monkey call hahaz... and out group gt 10 ppl the whole trip gt 49 student we were divided into 4 group 10 ppl per group and den our group name is mama group lolz... den at 11am we went to sunway college i saw my ex neighbour jun liang and his lil bro jun rong den at sunway college we gt the chance to visit all those courses d classes such as bio lab,restaurant for hotel management trainee, art gallery,nursing training classes, library , canteen, and so on it was a quite fun and tiring trip to cz we have to climb those stairs that is from ground floor to 5th floor damn tiring... den we also noe few lecture that is tina,rachel,steven and some other forget name d.. sunway college is very fun to study in bt there no leng zai one i walk whole bout few hours aso cannot c one leng zai aso hahaz... tis r the few photo at sunway college wan c more go my friendster u will c my link at the end of the blog...then at 2.oopm we went to sunway lagoon there no photo cz we din bring our camera when goin to the water area..all the things were kept in the locker... in sunway i met a tb his name is elmo from puchong.. same age as me bt he is a hairstylist damn cool so young already gt career..hahaz... i noe by brw a hair dryer funny huh?? hahaz... then at 7pm we went to sunway pyramid... i bought a mickey shoe that only cost rm59.90 after discount normal price were rm149 cheap rite?? ahahz.. everybody aso shock when hear the price...haha then at 9.30pm we went to hotel..while were waiting for the bus my fren notice a blue black at my hand i gt it while playing at lagoon wild wild west..damn pain bt the special thing is the blue black look like a love shape.. hahaz... we stayed at hotel plaza kl.. nt bad la its still ok bt there jz gt bit creepy tis is wad i do at the first day...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

~ s@dn3s$~

hmmm... its been days i trying to think y my hubby nt heart pain when he torce me.. i noe i betray him b4 bt that was past y cant he 4give me since i have change my self.. doesnt every1 should be given a chance?? i really bu ming bai he oways say i duno zuo ren de dao li bt he aso the same wad.. i really confused lo!!! days and days pass and slowly and slowly i feel heart break and i really wan give up bt i love him to much until i cant ignore him!! is nt i cant leave without him is jz i wan to give my baby a perfect family... i hope after all this torcering he will 4give me.. and be with me for ever.. i really change my self already!! wo hen fan xing le!! wo yi jing gai bian le!! wo zi cuo le!!! wo yao yi ge ji hui ba le!!!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

b0r1ng dayzzZzzzzZzz!!!!!

today at school whole day no study cz all the teacher are bzing with the sports day thingy... well i promise to say bout my result of my exam here they are.. for basic con i jz pass only and for english i got B3 then science pass, moral pass , maths B3, account pass only and others haven take.. im nt stastified with it bcz i pass with cheating hahaz... anyway hope to get better result and its without lucky gt one paper no cheat wan!!!wakaka... hmmm... thats all bout it for today have to go for dinner already will be updating soon... tata!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

t1r3d!! t1r3d!! tir3d!!!

today go skol... gt marchinhg cz sports day is jz around the corner.. imagine our troops only practice twice hw can we win?? everytime when turning all go out of the line.. i aso no eye c!!! some more time to go back d still wan last and last later i miss my buss then they ny noe wad is HOT a.k.a ANGRY!!! and all the damn malays PIGS teacher like very forced to c we marching if dun like den dun c la aso no ppl ask u c!! some more wan at there bark like a crazy DOG!! so HOT ar!!! some more everybody gather at my place so many things until my tie drop d aso nobody even bother to pick uo and keep it in my bag.. all jz step on it only!!! u say la!! angry or nt!!!some more few days already no on9 lucky today can get the tmnet ppl lucky now is fixed..FINALLY i can on9 already man god save me hahaz.. on 2nd march was annie, kee shen and backstabber a.k.a y..i u guest la hahaz.. moslty d ppl aso noe wan la.. yoki or yuki u think urself la.. so me and my frens all bought a cake for her and her best fren were there bt she dun even bother to take the cake home.. so leave to me tis not included ppl take.. i admit i stupid thats y i take so angry treat her so good bt she dun even appreciate it!! well hubby now is still always smsing with that two girl one is aso call y... and one more is m.. y. if im nt wrong.. pls!! ppl gt wife d dun go and disturb ppl plus dun act like a SLUT!! hate it.. hate BITCHES man!!! y must there be so many idiot bitches in tis world!!! i really hope one day those bitches out there will dissapeared so tis world is peace!!! anyway im really damn tired now... tmr i will be continuing my blog with telling my exam result...hehe..most of it aso out liao.. plus until now nt even one subject i failed.. happy me...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

3veryth1ng go3s hiGh anD l0w!!!

2nd day of exam.. today subject is moral, basic economic and p.s.k .. well for moral everything go well NO CHEATING and so done all by my own and basic con CHEATED hahahaz!!!! i really have no idea wad its the ques all about lucky the class number one student sit in front of me.. so i surely ask from her la.. so lucky she give and all done hehez.. then siviks.. aso CHEATED!!! hehehez.. almost all the subject i aso cheat hahahaz... bt then today those dum dum teacher accept my fav teacher pn.sik all walking here and there so cant cheat to much cz DANGEROUS !! den finish skol at 1.2opm so the middle gate its nt open so we went to the main gate and the idiot guard close it dont let us out he wan us to go out from the middle gate well me tis so call 'GOOD STUDENT' sure wont agree wan la.. so when the damn ass wan to shut the gate i fast fast run haha... lucky im fast enuf to go out b4 the door shut..wakaka.. bt pity my fren have to walk back to the middle gate haha!!! well tis two day k.e has been smsing a idiot girl name .... the whole day!!! imagine my hubby sms other
WHOLE DAY!! really make me damn piss off!! hate it.. well last nite slept early so duno they sms until wad time.. well so tired today now i think its time to be pig liao.. hahaz.. nite nite.. lolz...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

3xam!!!! 3xam!!! goin cr@zy Azi3!!!

blehs!!! exam!!! so long never sit for exam d!! almost one year past sudd go for exam so not use to it lo!!! plus im so lost everything came out look familiar i read b4 bt when wan write... all fly away duno go where.. den edrene,yoki,carmen and the most unbelievable liew yen aso cheated in the exam with us hahaz!! bt even we gt the notes bt we still cant find the answer.. so no choice have the simply fill up and pass up lo.. then when reach science imagine mosquito aedes and aedes mosquito i gt confused with it i was rite at first then kwee fei told me that is mosquitos aedes a.k.a nyamuk aedes translate lol!! in the end no confident on me so change bt then end up WRONG!!! yer!!! so angry la... bt lucky b4 i manage to pass it up b4 i went and check answer wakaka!! hope can pass la hahaz!! i dwan go detention class btw teacher if u c tis pls recorrect it its nt distinction its detention!!! then the last paper was english phew... lucky im gd in it bt i aso face prob.. cz i prepare for plot and synopsis bt came out events.. one word DIE aso haiz!! y i so bad luck wan tis year!!! the worse thing i almost nt enuf time to finish lucky i write fast simply add in only wakaka...!!! hope to get more marks la cz i dwan drop standard hahaz... im always the highest and i dun wan end up the lowest i surely will get BOOOO!!!! when i get the result...T.T well now im quite hungry.. time for maggi mee!! hahaz.. my lunch for now a days cz need save money to buy present for hubby o... love my hubby so muchie..muackz!!!!