im totally break into pieces..

last nite i accidenlty heard my husband talking on the fon with a girl.. and he say he really love his kl gf.. bt in reality he told me diff things.. bt i believe him.. the worse is he say out that 'he dun love me at all he with me is bcz of sex' i was so sad.. my heart all break into pieces.. i din noe wad to do!! i was too sad... and after i done cry and so on i notice while i was sad i cut my wrist with a knife.. am i stupid?? i really duno y!! first is june and now my husband...its like 1 by 1 come and hurt me.. am i so stupid?? do i look like a slut?? i admit i do gt betray both of them b4.. bt u guys aso cant treat me as a sex toy.. and my husband ive been with him for 2 years he never love me b4?? i dun believe lo.. i really duno wad should i do now.. i really felt like a toy being throw to one after another.. i really sick of my life!! all tis long i never had a real love b4.. i was so serious in both of tis relationship in the end all i gt is hurt!! i really very stupid.. last nite after i listen all my husband say i was so sad.. bt i duno y im nt angry at him bt i blame my self back.. i really duno y.. should say im stupid or i love him to deep?? i really duno..

now on 7th dec i will be leaving my husband hopefully after leaving him for sumtimes i hope he can slowly accept me and love me and hav a happy family with me.. i did many wrong thing while with him bt he always give me chance.. i hope tis time i give him chance and it wont be late... i really doesnt wan everything to end here.. i wan a real love and a happy family!! i dun believe wad my husband said last nite!! all is jz a lie!! i trust wad i c!! and i will cont loving my husband no mater wad.. i will always wait for him!! i really do love him!! i hope he noe it and willing to accept me bck and hav a happy family with me..

now i really need to put all tis love prob a side.. cz i noe i cant do anything now.. cz everything need time and time is the best to show our love and answer hopefully wad im doin now can save my marriage... and now i really need to pay attn and fnh my exam den leave husband for sumtimes and den go for my plkn and come bck be my husband lovely wife!!

may god bless me..
in lord father name i pray..
amen!!

xoxo
baby min